Aging Gracefully

When I first got into modeling I was worried about my age and considered it a hindrance to being successful. It was a harsh realization that the majority of models in the industry are the same ages as my sons. So I listed my age as ten years younger than my real age, which people accepted. But eventually I realized that being older and more mature was actually a good thing; it made me unique. So I embraced the age difference and later came out and admitted my real age, which really surprised people, but everyone has been very understanding and supportive.

It’s an honor to be able to represent older women and to show people that age is just a number and it’s never too late to reach out for your dreams. I feel proud of myself that I was able to recreate myself and begin a modeling career at the age of 52. And it means a lot to me when people tell me I inspire them or they look at me as a role model. That is a huge compliment and I can’t think of too many other things more gratifying than having the opportunity to inspire people and give them hope.

I started off trying to look and act like the typical model because I felt I had to in order to be successful. But as time went on I discovered people liked me for me; that my age was not an issue, which was somewhat of a revelation to me. So I just started being myself and sharing more about my life and my family, including my two adult sons. I initially felt like being a parent was not something which would be of interest to the people who followed me because of my porn career, but I was wrong. I share the struggles and joys of being a parent, and the ups and downs of my life. Some people have questioned why I share so many personal things, which is a reasonable question. I don’t do it for the publicity or because I’m into drama; I made the choice to be open about my life, including the good and the bad, and also because I consider many of the friends I know online to be like family and I value their feedback and support.

And knowing people like me for who I am has been such a positive experience and given me so much self-confidence, which has literally changed my life. At first I would only post pictures where I felt I looked my absolute best, but these days I think I post more pictures where I’m looking more frumpy than glamorous. And I’m okay with that, which is a big step forward for me. I’ve learned to be comfortable in my own skin and confident in who I am and no longer feel I have to be perfectly dressed and wearing make-up to be presentable, and a lot of that is due to being older and the wisdom that comes with age.

And now I get to share the joys of being a grandma. Seeing my grandson smile when he sees me just melts my heart and makes me smile back. Being a parent was the best thing I ever did, but there is something truly special about being a grandparent. I get to spend time with my beautiful grandson while at the same time watching my son being a dad, and that is very special. It’s almost hard to find the words to describe what that means to me, and I think in this case it’s true that a picture is worth a thousand words. I love this picture because my smile and happiness is so evident, and I am fine with posting it even though I’m wearing old ratty sweats and don’t have on any makeup. It’s just me being a grandma, and it doesn’t get any better than that.

There are days when I feel old, and can’t deny the realities of getting older such as more aches and pains, needing my glasses more often to read things, and having to work out twice as hard to stay in shape. But I like where I am in life and have no desire to relive my youth. I’ve worked hard to reach this point to where I’m happy and more at peace with life, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I may have wrinkles and a few grey hairs, but I wear them proudly because I have earned them.